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My culture: My style @ January 10, 2008

January 10, 2008

You would think that since I am out of school this term, that I would have more time. Nope. I am still busy. I have a bad back from a previous car accident. I am also working on my toddler, like man child on his behavior. So I think that is where most of my time goes.

I still have to fumigate for pest. I still have to clean the stove, and it just needs replacing. I still have to deep scrub my tile and recalk the tile in the bathroom. I have to sterilize all of the services that I will be coming in contact with…. I always have to clean the floors and the laundry. So I have to ask, how did I do all of this and still manage to organize, file and place in manuals the school work that I did from July 2003 to April 2005. I have to ask myself, how did you (I) manage to take four classes a semester/term, do house chores, and take care of two kids and work and keep a perfect grade point average, sometimes four “A’s.”

One thing that I have learned over the holidays and that is that I can’t make a family that is splintering apart grow closer. I think that once they lost that trible connection, that is what really blew it. I grew impatient with my sister because I got tired of an agency that protects children calling and complaining and figuring her into everything. Sure people are talked about you, but you don’t have to fit the characteristics to a profile. The sad part about it was that my daughter had low self-esteem so she found it easy to be somewhere that she wasn’t treated very well. She would go out of her way to lie to be in a place that was not in the best of my interest. I told her that if she gets caught up in Delaware, or Cecil County or Texas or any place, then I would call the Sheriff’s Department, and she wouldn’t be coming home. She has to understand that she is not an animal or a barbie doll, and that went a Tort violation occurs, both parties will be held at fault. Her fault is that she did not forewarn me that she was treated poorly. The adults fault is that you should not seduce a child away from home, with toys and expect the guardian or custodial parent to say that it is okay to take the child anywhere that they have not agreed upon. It’s the law and it is disrespectful. Well when, her sons’ that were much older and larger began to push and my toddler then I knew that that was the final straw.

I also felt a sigh of relief because I knew that “E,” probably was a working for doctor’s office but she had to be on drugs when she agreed to pick us up for the holidays and then I asked her whether or not we were causing her to get out of schedule. In the end, she got in her car and said that she did not want us in her car, that maybe when she came back if we were still there and did not have a ride – then we could ride with her back to our house. I just said to myself that this would never happen again. It is unlawful to be deceptive. Besides, I wasn’t sure if my associates or Jeremiah’s side of the family would pick us up. I think that someone would have dones something very deceitful, other than just blow the horn for us to get in the car. Call it bad Karma, but it’s a provocative move for me to do something very hurtful to the culprit who started the domestic violence. I feel bad for Kae because I believe that the cult drove “E,” to do what she had to do…. put space between her family. If they don’t provide her with a man, then I will be through with this religious congregation.

There is another congregation that is going on that can’t sell all of their condominums. Why people feel I ought to know what they are doing behind my back. Didn’t Joshua say in Chapter 7 that if I can’t turn my back and you can’t be trusted, if you won’t give God the glory and let him be your Lord God that all must be destroyed. News flash, someone is serving and praising God and that they can’t and won’t be homeless for your selfish ambitions. The company won’t sell to them, they will not talk to them, no matter how much they inquire. I am from Indian ancestory and I know what people will do for an already established plumbing system. One of their members told me not to come over their house with no “sh****,” and so I said that it wasn’t mine it was hers. I had realized that this person did not have my back, and I had not been going over her house during the holidays. I watch how families beg to entertain the generational curse. I had noticed that she wanted to argue about the neglect of abandoning her maternal Grandmother’s grave and argue. I had thought that I think that my cousins and Aunt’s want to provoke me to slap them and then I would be in jail and lose custody of my children. They are not happy, and there children and mates are not that very attractive, so I guess they would want to disrupt the children’s lives.

Please be mindful that after you have done all that you can do, then your only resolve is that there is strife, in the family. I feel bad for “E,” because she was an important part of Kae’s life and she just walked out. No one is going to trust her with taking them away from the house and she is going against the mother’s wishes. A godly mother has God’s plan and knows the mind of God for His children that are on loan to her.

Will I ever return back to school? If the fraud gets cleared up, then I will. I don’t know which school yet…. I need to get a curriculum, I possess over 300 hours in many different institutions, but I have to decide and settle on a double major or curriculum. Some groups don’t know anything but corruption and discrimination, but I agree if you use those tools on your race, not nationality then that is because you didn’t get something. As for me, I am not a descendant of a slave. My father’s father (paternal grandfather), did not give my father any land for us, we were a part of his elaborate scam, to take the kids from my Mom, who was a better care taker. So with that, I can’t and don’t feel affinity to this man, his race or the sorts. A man that used his military privilege to marry a woman outside of his race etc.

Well, I don’t practice holidays but it so interesting to see how the holidays turned out… ONe by one, family members are distancing theirselves so we will see who is last standing.

~ Thalia

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